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Monday, October 1, 2007
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Hi,
I explain my past life first. My mother is no more. She suicide when I was in 3rd year of my B.E. From that time onwards, my life is going in different sides. I was studied in a religion school (they teach that love and all wrong, I took in positive manner. So I controlled myself before love crosses me. ) and I was in co-education from my L.K.G to my 12 th standard. So I did not come across with sight and love until my 12th.But that time I have one friend, he is the main problem for me now. Before my mom's death, I don’t give that much importance for him. But he will always likes me and want to be with me (in that time).
But I had some crush on him. Later it’s changed as love.
But in my final year, we had small fight and we did not speak for a year. But I can’t forget him. I got placed in my final year itself. He is younger than me (1 year).But he only initiated the feelings in my life time. Even though I spoke with so many guys, I never felt love in my heart. After completed my B.E, I have to shift from my hometown to city to join with my company. That time I send sms to him. I asked him to meet for one day. He replied that I am in love failure. I enquired about that. He told that he loves another girl and she is not accepting. I disappointed and told him, that I also know the feeling of love failure.
He also asked me as a surprise. Did you love anyone? I told that whenever we will meet directly that time I will tell you.
After 2 days we met. That time I told him that, I never know the feelings of love from my childhood to until my 3rd year. I have that feeling after 3rd year only on you. I also told that, U already told me that U r loving some other girl, SO i will take it as failure. I went to city. After I changed the number, I send him. He gave missed call to me and I called him lot. He told the problems with his GF and asked to call her and asked me to tell about him good. I also did that. Later I asked transfer to my state. That time he called and said that, He left that girl. That time also, I did not ask anything to him.
Later I came to my state. I send me the new number to him.
He started sms me. I also replied.
I started to call him everyday.
One day night he messaged me that, “What do you want from me?”
I just replied that “Until you going to marry please speak with me”.
After that he only sends the SMS “I love ….”
I asked him that “who is that lucky girl?”
He replied,” I love you”
I am so happy and I cried lot.
I called him; he said that “Tomorrow we will speak”
But tomorrow I called him, he simply said that “I send that sms for fun”.
But this time I am not in a situation to accept this cheating.
It happened in before 2 months.
Now he said that you do not understand people. How can I live with you?
It‘s not mandatory that he have to marry everybody propose to him?
I am having 2 sisters. My younger sister proposed him when she was in final year of schooling. He rejected her proposal. But he did not tell this before.
After 5 years only, he said this thing to me.
But now my sister also reminded him.
He only sends that sms to me and now he is trying to avoid me.
In this situation, what I have to do?
I can’t forget him.
Are there any mistakes I did?
Please help me to get my future and my life.
Waiting for your reply….
Thanks and regards,
ArunaPriya
Hello Anupriya,
sorry for the late reply. I was busy with other work and i didnt get any mail about your comments. Sorry for that.
I read your problem. From your situation I understand that you must take every single step very carefully. You got so many responsibilities as your mom was expired and you got 2 sisters. From the way, the boy you described, I dont feel any good for him.
In life, we all are destined to meet some people that we will feel this is real love and we will expect that he is the one who born for me. But truly, we will meet someone like them but we break up.
So what happens after this? Yes we will get the perfect one of our life. This guy is not your type. He just fall in love for fun, and takes love for fun type.
Or if you really think he is the right guy, then I just want to ask you only one thing. How can you expect this guy who said "i love you" to you , through an sms, and next day he is saying its just for fun? Do you think a guy who plays in love is your perfect guy?
No. My advice for you is just be away from him. Life is so strong. Some people dont value good people like you . So just be away from him. This is the best lesson for him.
This will do many changes. For example. 2 options are there :
1: you stay away from him and he will be trying to love another girl and he will know the pain of the failure. He may understand that life will be more beautiful when he gets the true love of a girl ( thats you ).
option 2: you stay away from him. He may get a girl of his life. And you may get a good boy of your life . Or even if he didn't get also I have a strong feeling that you will get another good boy of your type and he will be so kind. That boy will take care of you so well. He will have so much affection towards you and your family.
Just imagine if the choice 2 comes true. Ofcourse it will come true. But you need to wait because time will play in everyone's life. We should not loose hope. If we wait with full hope and patience then we get the right person.
Some people will not have the right patience and they wont wait. They do some mistakes and the whole life they will feel bad for that mistake.
So my advice to you is : YOUR TIME WILL COME. YOU WILL GET THE RIGHT GUY SOON. JUST WAIT FOR SOME MORE TIME.
This is not the real love. Just talking daily in the mobile phone, sms and being happy with that boy is not life. Truely speaking it happens to everyone of us. Even for me. But that relationship will not last longer. Once if we wait for some more time then we will surely get the right guy.
Now your work is to do your job good and get good name and fame. Take care of your family well. You are having a lot of responsibilities. Just dont waste your precious time with these guys who dont value your great love. They just know how to break your heart. Dont feel bad. Just be brave and think this is not the time to cry for someone. Because YOUR PRECIOUS TEARS MUST HAVE A GREAT VALUE. Dont waste your PRECIOUS TEARS FOR THOSE GUYS WHO JUST PLAY WITH YOUR HEART.
Dont be inside a small circle. Come out. There is a big world waiting for your presence.
Once you get the good name and fame in your office, they will promote you to a good position. Your family will feel proud of you. Your sisters and others will be happy that they got a great sister. After this , you will get the right person. Your life will be happy after that.
So, don't sit and cry for him anymore. Make a decision that you born great. You are great. Great persons don't cry. Get up and show the world who you are.
I will be waiting for that time , till you reach a good position and good life. That time, the right guy will come into your life. And you will come to me and give a happy comment.
I am sure.
I will wait for that day.
Keep up your spirit. Be happy and smiling.
Never be sad for anyting in life because life is not meant to be sad. Do good things to others and make other happy.
Good days are going to come.
Cheers :)
Hi Ashok,
Thank you...your reply will help me lot.I was already segregate from him.....I did not see him also.Thank you very much.
Regards..
Arunapriya
Hi Ashok...
I changed my display name as supriya...sorry for that...
But I have to grateful for you in my life time...bcos of ur valuable words and advices....
Really ur comments will made me optimistic....and gave enthu for me....
Thank you Thank you very much Ashok...
Regards,
Arunapriya
Happy to see your comments :)
Well , i wish you good luck in your life.
Just enjoy each and every moments of your life.
whenever you got any problems then just share it. It will give you great relief.
You are always welcome to share your thoughts with me in this website.
Thank you..Sure....
Hi, I'm having problems and it's killing me inside. I just gave up everything I know to move 23 hours away and be close to my fiance's mom, so that our daughter can have a grandma and he can finally start college. After we got to our destination my fiance was very withdrawn, I thought it was something I did. When he finally told me what was wrong he said that he didn't love me anymore. He said that he didn't know why but for the past year he hasn't been happy with our relation ship. Our daughter is only 8 months old. He told me that at first he thought it was his job but after moving he realized it was more than that. He said that part of the problem was me not being happy, I told him that I would be happy when he started spending less time on the computer and more time with me. He told me that he is on the computer to figure out what is wrong. He also says that I should just wait until tax season when he could send me back. I don't want to wait that long to be crushed, but I don't want him to leave me. I love him so much, I want to cry every time I see him now. He says something changed and that he loves me as a friend. I don't know what to think. I'm so confused. I feel so stupid for not realizing something was wrong sooner. He says he doesn't fully know what changed, and that I might not have to worry at all. He also says that he wants me to stay in this town and find a job so that our daughter can grow up with both of us. I know that that is best for her but it will hurt so much and I don't know if I can. I don't have a full degree and my credit is shot, all the jobs here are for nurses and such and I don't know anything about that. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused.
Hi PeataRamit,
Before discussing your problem, i would like to ask you few things.
You mentioned he is your FIANCE, also you said you have 8 months old daughter. So you both still not married yet ?
My second question to you is: Where do you both live?
Third and very important question: Describe your relation with him. How long you both were together. Because this will help in giving a correct understanding of your problem.
Only after you reply for these i can give the solution to your problem.
For every relationship, we need to know more about the relationship before getting the virtual problem. From the problem you explained, i need more details about your love with him. How did you both meet each other and how long he was with you.
To read men's mind, we definitely need those details.
We have been together for about four years, and we have been living together for about two years now. We didn't intend for me to get pregnant, a case of 99% not meaning anything. We didn't want to marry until I bettered my credit, I was stupid in college and got a credit card and now to top it off I had surgery that cost over 20 thousand that I need to pay. We were going to marry after I finished school and payed off my credit card but I got pregnant and dropped out, we moved the two hours to my home town where I learned that my mom went down hill and her boyfriend tried to beat my fiance up. We are now in Arizona, we were in South Dakota. I don't know what went wrong in our relationship, everything was fine until we moved by my mom. We didn't stay there long and haven't had contact with her or her boyfriend since then. We were renting a duplex and my fiance didn't want me to work. He worked full time while I cared for our daughter, everything seemed fine aside from him hating his job. Then he told me that his mom would move us down to Arizona so that he could go to school. We got here and then he let me know that he wasn't happy, he said that he thought it would be better. He thought his problem was his work but realized that it wasn't. I wish I knew what to do, I don't know if I should hope or just give up.
Hi PeataRamit,
Your problem looks like a trouble which is caused by MONEY/ FINANCE related problem initially. The fire slowly started to like this and started to spread. Now his JOB brought Tensions to your "Fiance". Its just like adding fuel to the little fire.
And men with problems surrounded from more than 2 sides will feel like they dont like anything in this world. And they will start to concentrate on SOMETHING. This SOMETHING can be anything. Like for eg: Some men will concentrate chatting with so many people in internet, Some men will start spending time with friends. Some men will drink with friends. It differs from men to men.
Anyway you have 2 solution right now. You can end it only where it exactly started. From the way you have explained , i have a feeling that it all started with money.
You can have a happy life sooner or later only making yourself financially strong. Same time concentrating on your daughter.
Solution1:
What i can advice you is , that you can continue your studies if possible.
The reason is : you might have seen education plays a vital role in leading a good lifestyle good jobs and ultimately a good life.
You got pregnant and you were dropped out of school. But i am sure you must be able to continue your studies somehow.
If you can continue, then please finish a good degree.
But you again need financial support if you want to finish your education.
But listen to my advice, if you neglect your education now then you cannot finish any degree even later and life may be tragic even later.
After education you can find a job which you like and make yourself stable.
If you think this above advice is highly impossible for you because your MAN doesnt like you working even after you finish education,then there is only one way left to solve this problem.
But to go into the second solution you must make sure that your husband is very happy in his job and financially he is strong enough to care for you and your daughter.
Second solution is to talk with him and find a solution which we can discuss later. I will proceed the solution2 and it is possible truly in real life. But you need a lot of patience and you must handle in the exact way like i tell you. It also needs too much conversations needed. I will guide you for that.
But now choose either Solution1 or solution2
Ok, here is the deal. I've talked to him time and time again. He says that he hopes things turn out, but he still says something is missing in our relationship and he doesn't know what it is. I love him and so I chose to stay with him until he tells me goodbye. I don't know what is missing for him, just that he says it makes him think of me as a friend more now. I don't know if money was ever really a problem, we both grew up poor. I'm looking for a job, and have been since I moved. I can't finish college until I pay off my loans and one class. But when I do I can test out of one of the classes I need for only $10 which is better than the $100 my other school would have wanted. I love him and I will do everything I can to help him figure out what he thinks is missing, then I will work from there with trying to fix it.
hi peataramit,
From your reply i can clearly understand how much you love him. But does he know that?
It's really necessary to show love instead of just having it inside you. Most of them makes mistake only here.
Always tell him he is good, great and you love for so many reasons. Tell him those reasons even let him know.
Now he feels that you are nomore a girlfriend but just friend. And i can assure you that you can once again become his intimate girlfriend. Just recollect whatever he loves in you and do it. You make him smile instead of just talking only family matters / financial matters. Try to lead a different and great life full of happiness. Make him feel that you are his happiness from now on.
Give him all the special care and tell him you are lucky to have him in your life.
If he finds a different YOU, then he will also understand how lucky he is.
cheers.
my problem is my lover (girl) father is very very angry in my love
my lover cyst is change
what can i do
ples give me the solution pless
Hello chetan,
First i would like to know your problem in detail. What you mean by this "my lover cyst is change". what does this mean.?
please write elaborately.
And sorry for being late.
hi Shankhesh Shah ,
I read your problem you posted here.
After so many years i am seeing a guy with such a true love.
Wow i am really happy that the girl is lucky she got you in her life. Ok your problem is little critical but its not very critical. Still we can solve this.
There is a big difference between friendship and love. What you see in your eyes is Love. What she see in her eyes is Friendship. I dont blame both of you.
I will tell u one perfect example for your situation. In movie, DIL CHAHTA HAI, Preity zinta and Amir khan were both close. They spent so much time being together, teasing and kidding. But at one point of time she will take him to that opera. I hope u have seen that movie. Only while watching the opera, she will ask him to close his eyes and think whom he really wants to see with such a critical question and he will see Preity. From that moment he will realise what he had is love.
I am sure you are a very nice guy with all the good habits which one girl will really look for. But if a girl didnt give positive feedback then there is somewhere you are lacking. And i feel you are lacking in thinking in romantic way may be ? But i am not completely sure cos only u have to say bout it.
A girl can say u r perfect guy with all ur lifestyle practices u have. But instead of just asking her decision just becas you love her, try to make her fall in love.
I think somewhere you are just lacking from the real perfect man for her. But she dont want to tell u that secret ingredient. I mean, She has some list of things to be matched with her perfect man. Lets say 10 items in the checklist.
You are satisfying about 7 or 8. But still 2 check items are not satisfied.
Try to find those remaining items in the list.
Ok how to find it ? Now pls dont ask her. Cos she dont wanna tell u really. Find it out yourself. I really dont know why u r taking so much time to find that.
If a guy is really close to his girl, just her eyes will tell u everything. Her eyes will show if she really loves u, if she really did.
I am sure you are such a nice guy, you are waiting with so much patience. All these years u have understood her very well. But just take her out of this real world.
Step her out to the virtual world. Show the world of love you really built for her. I know you tried to explain u love her a lot. But explaining something is different from taking her into your beautiful world of love.
Try to stop asking her MARRY ME PLEASE. Dont ask her this for sometime atleast for 1 month.. Stop this nd watch her reaction. Also take her out to the open sky to watch the stars at night. It can be even her house terrace. I dont mind. But you both have to be alone in peace and relaxed nature watching the stars together.
Be romantic. I can see you are sad. Please dont be sad. I want to see the way you really talk to her and your nature before i proceed with my further consultation.
send your chat id ,hopefully google chat to GoodBolt@googlemail.com if you want to talk personally.
hi smarty,
Can you tell me whether she is going to do ARRANGED MARRIAGE OR LOVE MARRIAGE ?
If she is type1, (arranged marriage) then ask your parents to formally go and ask the girl. As you said the girl's parents like u, there shouldn't be any problem.
If she is type2, ( love marriage ) then you still have to wait some more time. Cos she has a clock inside which will ring the alarm soon. You have to wait till then.
So right now, tell me whether she is type1 or type2 kind ?
hey shankhesh shah,
Now u got the chance to proceed in type 1 route. Talk to the family members of both the sides and arrange the traditional way of arranged marriage from your end.
Go on.
Hi smarty,
You are right. She is still testing you. I am having the same feeling like you, that she has feelings for you but she is little confused about her feelings.
Is she really close to any other guy just like you?
I am sure that she is having only u on her side. So this should be your last test.
Even after knowing that your family is searching for marriage proposal for you, how is she reacting to this ? What did she tell u? Like for example : She is ready to give you to another girl with the name ARRANGED MARRIAGE ? Or she is holding u to her ?
hey smarty,
You got a very critical girl. Oh my god. She is keeping so many tests.
Life is just once and it has to be with someone very special. Trust and confidence, loyalty is very important in love. But too much of tests is also not a good move.
I probably hope this will be the last test for you. She is close to one more guy which is one more risk.
But for a change, you try to keep some tests to her and see her reaction.
Have u ever kept any tests to her and told her the results ?
hey smarty,
You were offline during the chat. But its ok. I have a very good feeling for you and ur love and She will be yours for 90% if you are good like this for next 1 year. As u said u both are not fighting, u just maintain the same.. Dont fight. Be cool for the next 1 yr max.
She will break this ice in next 1 year.
Usually girls take 2 yrs to test a boy.
So one more year left for u to know the result but dont worry.. Everything will be good. Trust in god.
Cheers.
hi sir,
i am vignesh.i am loving a gal from college days she too loving me..nw de prob s i m hindu she s christian n castes wer also diff..i completed my B.E last year still dint get job but my girl fnd got job working in wipro.she told me to get a good job(IT or core) den oly can approach her parents 4 marriage since everything were diff bet us(caste,religion,etc).nw her parents planning to do marriage for her and i too dont hav job at present to talk to her parents also..my girl friend saying me to get a good job soon i am trying but still din get very much frustrated don know wat to do...if my gal says about our love in her home also dey wont accept it will creat more prob since i din hav job n etc n dey may rush up in ding marriage for her ..i don know what to do nw plz giv me a solutions
Hey Viki,
Why dont you try for a job in other industry rather than waiting for IT job? By this way, atleast you will have some job at the moment and you can ask her parents for the proposal.
But in any case, they are going to create problems. So i dont see any point in waiting so much. If she is so confident that she wants you and if you feel the same way then find a job (IT / Non-IT) and talk to their parents.
The more you wait, the more you loose. Act fast.
hi i am sriram,
i am in love with my classmate one girl from the schooling to diploma i will not even talk to the girls freely and not interested in love by dad and mom are interested to make me joined in the Chennai but i wish to study in my native place it self while that time i got seat in erode college and since am a lateral entery no one responded me bcos i will not study well but my skill set is like ph.d holders so due to that staffs like me so much one while chatting in facebook my classmate send me a request and i accepted her and we chatted for a longer period so i got some love with that girls and also she gave me her phone numbers and due to my classmates critising i started loving that girls even thow i did many thing i am not able to propose my love to her i have some fear ness with her bcos she will study well than me due to that i am not able to study and get through the subjects so pls help me to propose my love..........:)
I m nandini. My lover is not talking with me now. I don't no wat happened to him. I need him. I can't live without him. Plz help me by sugessting some solution. Plz
My lover and I have been threw a lot together. He saved my life before, he's changed his bad ways for me (he choose to) he will do anything and everything for me. He drives 2 hours and spend the weekend with me. He's let me met his family and friends and with his other ex's he's never let that happen. But latly we have been fighting a lot and its starting to tear us apart. I need help to know how to solve our problems.. like stopping arging over things and taking our bad feelings out on each other when its not our faults
Hi,
A guy of my collegemate voluntarily calls and speaks to me.We were friends for two years and finnaly got committed.I asked him one day whether there is any past love for u ...for that he replied no one...after a years back i received a message from a girl that she was his lover one year back s seems..but now broke up..my lover has rejected her s seems..i asked my lover ,he accepted this truth after a long time.Actually this is not my problem.the thing is one day he messaged to his ex girl friend that" i want to see you, i like u so much ,send ur pictures(in wrong way)" like that.his ex girl friend messaged me everything in facebook.I was angry and asked him to leave me completly..for that he started crying and asking me not to leave him...he aceepted saying "i did this major mistake.i dont know why i did so ..sorry for everything.i promise u i wont repeat this again any more,i want u " like that he was going on telling..after that he didnt spoke to that girl till now..i has been one year...Now the thing is i accepted him ,,but i fear that whether he will repeat this mistake again...after marriage will he repeat this any time? Doubts going on arising in my mind...i cant conclude anything for sure...Please kindly give me a solution.
Hi am Valarie having a problem with my husband,7yrs married,I caught my husband on line busy charting with his gal friends not one three of them,apparently,I was inside my bedroom think am sleeping meanwhile I was relaxing,the window was open,then I heard,the language we're talking its a bedroom language,he asked the first you not remembering me and I think she yes cause he said c u on the following day,the other one he asked how is the virgin then she responded of which I don't knw,he said c u on wensday,the third conversation was are u working by the holidays she responded,then he said will c at work by 9pm,after all I just bust in tears,then he caught me tearfully,he asked,and he apologised BT this thing not moving out in my heart of what I've heared
Hi Valarie,
There should be a lot of things going on between you and him in the last 7 years. So if you really want a solution then you could either give him one chance to see if he is really true to you after this. May be he is just missing some attention from you or bored and wanted to talk to somebody in the online internet chat room. So find out if he was just talking or doing even more. If you could not find out anything other than just that chat conversation, then try to improve your relationship with him much further. Spend a lot of time together and show some more attention to him. May be things will get alright.
But if you still believe he did more worse and if you have the hard proof /evidence then you know what you need to do next.
If a person is true you can trust him and forgive him but if a person starts to hide things then the relationship tends to get complex. Try to find if he is really true to you or a liar.
Than very much,as am trying to take away all what I've heard,am trying to give that second chance u talking about,me to I was thinking am doing short on him as we carried woman may be am too much focusing on to my work,BT I made that effort to give him his tym,than a lot about your responds its very bold,and healthy very appreciating do to the others
Hi I am anitha.. My lover said I don't need your relationship... I don't know why... But I love him so much.. I need him.. How to solve this problem... Pls help me sir...
His problem is "he didn't get free in his life.. He got more stress so only he will leave my love" sir please help me how I solve this
Hi Anitha,
The most important thing in love is to show that you care and your love is selfless. People get stressed and when they are stressed they cannot think straight. Their decisions wont be right during those stressed moments.
Give him some more time and do not force him with your love. The more you force will result in the opposite effect.
So I would advise you to give him some time and let him come back to his normal life back. You can always show that you care for him.
Also it is worth to find out if he is not attracted to other women else what is the point? But you need to really give him some space.
Be strong and if you truly love him, then nobody can take your love away.
Hi my self ashique 20 year old and a self employed
Im in a confusion now
I really likes a girl but I don't know her name we meets daily(except sat&sun) at our bus stop but we don't know each other I follows to her college and after I go to work but she didn't even noticed me yet
How to catch her attention and how to propose her??
Please help me.......
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